1.26.2012

transition


 I think this move of ours rocked these two a little more than we realized. 

Since upon arriving here, Jayne has:
- asked for her "other home"
- asked for "grandma's house"
- says "I miss my home"
- says "I miss my room"
- got sad when she saw her room over videochat with my sister
- started crying when she saw her Grandma and Aunt Lauren over videochat. 
- has had major meltdowns and tantrums every day over little silly things

Vinny has:
- become insanely more clingy and wants to be held by me all.day.long, no exaggeration
- cries and screams a lot more than he ever used to.

It is easy for me to forget that a move like this could affect them, even as young as they are. Jayne couldn't have been any more clear that she was having a hard time, and yet we still didn't see it. In fact, it didn't dawn on either one of us that their unusual behavior had anything to do with the move, until I had a good long chat with a close friend of mine the other day who finally clued me in (and who had been through it all just before me). I was explaining to her about all the things they'd been doing, and telling her that I thought maybe they were feeling cooped up in a tiny apartment, having come from a larger home. While that may be a small part of it, it was definitely not the bigger reason. My kids are adjusting to a big move, and it's taking a toll on them. 

So, these next couple weeks are going to be concentrated on them and bringing some predictability and familiarity into their lives.  We're going to focus more on schedule and routine so that they can trust their new home and start to feel more comfortable and happy here. 

And to think we were about to start potty training today... what were we thinking?!

Any other tips and/or recommendations you might have with small children and big moves would be greatly appreciated. Send them our way!

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P.S. Check out our sweet grocery store below...

6 comments:

Rachel said...

we just moved across the country with my 10 month old. It was a rough three weeks, but we're finally back to normal! I just tried to find out new schedule (with the time zone change!) as quickly as possible and stick to it! He definitely was aware that he was missing grandparents, aunts, & uncles, so that was a little sad, but I think he has forgotten by now! Good luck!

Rachel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spencer and Mackenzie said...

oh I'm so sorry! Give it time and it will get better! I feel like we went through this for the past 6 months (Australia for 3 months, then moving from Ohio to Boston)and we're just emerging now. One thing that Madeleine did well with in Australi was doing unique or fun things - I would take picutres and then at the end of the day we would look at our pictures and talk about the fun things we did. She would get so excited to tell family members over skype about how they call cantoloupe "rockmelon" and how silly that was. So I guess for her (she was about 27 mo when we went to AUS) it helped to involve her in all things new and bring the new/exciting/exotie down to her level. Unforuntately Henry (10 months then)just had to power through it. And yes the schedule helped. Longest comment ever???

S.DAY said...

Youre such a good mom. Believe me, I learned it the hard way and didn't realize the toll it took until after I had yelled and screamed at my poor 2 year old until I was blue in the face for three weeks. Poor kid.
You'll be back on track in no time and you'll start to see the change. Slow but sure they'll adjust and then all of a sudden one day you'll wake up and feel like you have your angels back.
love ya

The Bobos said...

Sorry it's been rough for your kiddos so far, hon. Like the comments before, just give it some time. When we moved to Hawaii, Natalie had a hard time as well adjusting. Once I got her into a routine, she adjusted better. Lots of patience and love will help. It's hard, especially when your kids have been whining all day long, but all they really need is reassurance that you love them and things are ok. Good luck!!!

Do You Think I Am An Automaton said...

I had the same experience when we moved to Copenhagen. Olivia was about 18 months. She had been more of a baby (easy, compliant) than a toddler up until we landed in Copenhagen, went to sleep in our new apartment and then when we woke up the next morning, she had turned more toddler overnight- and an angry toddler at that! All of the sudden she threw fits and cried a lot. She kept that up for a long time! In all of our planning to move overseas I never once thought about how it would impact her behavior and mood. I think what made it the hardest for her was that we were in a new country and wanted to site see and wander around and see everything. Olivia really wanted to nap at her normal time and read books like she had been doing just days before. I think if I did it over I would have tried to keep some things normal. Only site see every other day or watch a favorite movie or make familiar food instead of this new, fun Danish food that I wanted to eat! Anyway... I am excited for your new adventure! You will all adjust and do just fine!